Loose Association

poetry

Loose association
pastel childhood
therapist’s office
At the whims
of hesitation—

scribbled adolescence
black and white prints only
slideshow sideshow
in memory’s prison with
maniacal enthusiasm.

Melting into an armchair existence,
toes cold,
old blanket,
errant thought
afternoons—

Trained for careful analysis,
deep critical thinking
wineglass candle light
and year-old playlists.

Cigarette-smoke oratory
unravels the mystery of
trauma repertoire,
and the mid-morning cabernet
of incessant worry—

Desire that is directionless
panicked searching
for a lost child
in the store

Yearning as strong as
just wanting some fucking sleep.
Feelings as wrong as
just trying to figure out my shit, leave me alone
Patient as long as
it takes to decipher this ink-blot adulthood.

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