If you’re going to live like this, there are some things you should know:
You are going to fuck up. Often. People are going to question you. Often.
You are going to take their advice with a grain of salt.
You are going to prove them right. Often.
You are going to prove them wrong.
And all you need to do is prove them wrong once
to emerge a hero, with a tale, a lesson, an experience that they will covet.
That they will exalt. They will tell the tale far and wide,
even though they were on the sidelines, giving their warnings and crying foul,
because you fuckin’ did it.
You will be remembered.
You will have to fight against instinct.
You will refuse to acknowledge fear.
There will be fear.
And it means nothing.
You will not live to be scared.
You will not live to be proper.
You will not live to be OK.
You will live for the journey.
You will live for the tragedy and the suspense and the miraculous and the uncomfortable and the astounding and the unanticipated and the glorious.
You will live for the best.
And you won’t be left wondering.
You might not live without regrets,
but you won’t regret regretting
it will be amazing.
I breathe you in like water
You rush through me and out of me:
a tickle at my ear.
I hum a tune that is faint and purple
You barely notice that you notice me.
You will try to ignore it,
fight to push it out of your mind,
but you won’t stop listening.
I sing honey liquid notes
you’ll hear whatever you want to hear
You will find yourself
ever closer to me.
the perfumed air around me:
Sweet lotus blossom
salty ocean breeze
You will find bliss,
you will lose yourself,
and I will take you there.
If you come closer,
I will breathe you in like water and
We will rush through me,
no more pain.
The pas de deux of awkward hello’s
A sashay into “how are you”
The stiff arabesque of “Look, I’m fine”
Just trying to be en pointe
Bud of light,
grow me calm
in your evening gown
of licking flame.
burn me awake
Swell yourself by
sipping on fragrant waxes
warm me OK
in a fit of passion
and melt yourself away.
Linger glowing orange on your stem
when you disappear in a string of smoke.
Garden of fire,
pin-prick nebulae burning bright:
Leave me immolated and purged.
warm me alright.
I was refilling my pill box for the week and thought of you.
She preferred a multiplicity of flame.
I’ll meet you never,
We’ll always be apart—
But I’ll kiss your shadow
And learn your silence by heart
I’ll see you sometimes
If only in my mind’s eye
I’ll feel your ghost—
Be your eternal aside
I’ll see you somewhere
Yeah, I’ll be around
I’ll sing you a song
that won’t make a sound